Building the Muscle of Asking for Help at Work
Asking for help and accepting it might be two of the hardest things we do at work. We have been taught to value independence, productivity, and expertise, but not interdependence. Yet real collaboration, belonging, and sustainable leadership depend on our ability to both offer and receive support.
For many of us, asking for help can feel like weakness or failure. We might fear burdening someone, being perceived as unprepared, or losing control over how something gets done. But learning to ask for help is actually an act of building a liberatory culture that values trust and human well being. It signals that we see ourselves as part of a larger system of care and connection.
Like any skill, this one grows with practice. Think of it as training a muscle: we don’t start by lifting the100lbs of weight. Instead, we practice with 3lb weights—small moments of asking, small moments of receiving—so that when the heavier lifts come (big projects, personal challenges, leadership transitions), our muscles for vulnerability and support are ready.
This week, I tried something simple: I set aside five minutes at the end of the week to reflect on how I was practicing help and support. I asked myself three questions:
Who did I let help me this week? How many times did I say “yes” when someone offered to take something off my plate, lend their expertise, or just listen?
Where do I need help that I haven’t asked for it yet? What am I trying to hold alone, and what might open up if I let someone in?
Who did I connect with or build a relationship with this week who might be someone I can reach out to in the future?
Even just reflecting shifted something for me. I realized how often help is already available. I just need to give myself permission to accept it.
Practicing asking for and receiving help is not about dependency; it’s about community. It’s about remembering that we are designed for collaboration, not isolation. Each small moment of reaching out builds trust, softens pride, and strengthens our shared capacity to care for one another.
So maybe this week’s challenge is to practice lifting the 3lb weights. Ask for one small thing. Accept an offer of support. Say “thank you” and really mean it. Those micro-moments of mutual care are what prepare us to handle the heavier stuff when it comes.
